Living with a slob husband. February 10, 2022 4 min read.

Living with a slob husband I am not happy. Feb 18, 2013 · Answer: It can be frustrating to live with someone who has different habits than we do. ” The burnout isn’t just about the occasional frustrations that arise in any relationship; it’s a deeper, more pervasive feeling of exhaustion that can threaten the foundation of the Jun 29, 2023 · What are the symptoms of retired husband syndrome? Sometimes, when retired husband micromanages things a lot, it can lead to problems. 5 days ago · They could live in a mess created by themselves or someone else and not have an issue with the environment. 7. Dealing with a narcissistic spouse can make you doubt yourself and A slob and being one is very unattractive. Living with a new freak as a spouse when you're not could cause a lot of friction between both of you. Mar 28, 2016 · My husband, on the other hand, is completely Type A and organizes his bills by due date, then makes reminders on his phone. The symptoms include depression, skin rash, asthma, ulcers, and high blood pressure. Recognize that he’s not the only one with a problem. Remember that your spouse is more than their diagnosis. Nov 22, 2024 · If this is happening to you, by now, you should know that you are living with a wife that is disrespectful. February 10, 2022 4 min read. A lazy husband might not even realize how much his inaction is affecting the relationship. Fortunately, this mother is here to help. I’m anxious about how this is going to work out because he always “forgets” the rules and then I have to get after him about it. They’re probably more comfortable living in your home, using their old room and bathroom, than being in a shared space with peers or a strange dorm at college. You can motivate a lazy husband in the following ways. But communal spaces like the bedroom or living room must be clutter free. Apr 13, 2023 · One of the most common threads in the comments is that the reader wishes the house was clean, but they don’t know how to keep the house clean because their spouse is a slob. 12 1:15 PM EDT By Phil Lifehacker has some suggestions for making the living arrangement work without going insane or having your roommate resent you as a Sep 20, 2024 · Narcissistic abuse syndrome is a non-medical term for feelings of anxiety, avoidance, and fear due to emotional abuse from someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). But you can say that even if he was worse. So, rather than complaining, shouting, threatening, or nagging, take the long gentle road of being kind, it works wonders. Mar 2, 2021 · Living with messy people can be frustrating on both ends. Lies and excuses become a free pass for your guy. I am starting to resent my husband because he won’t help me unless i get upset and by that time I’m already doing it myself and him getting in the way just irritates me more. I have read the 3 part article in hopes of gaining some insight and reassurance that somethings my husband expects from our children 20 and 18 are acceptable. NOT!!!! Aug 23, 2017 · But my boyfriend cares about these things. It may not be that he is a slob, or that he doesn't care about you or his environment; it may just be a symptom of something deeper. They won't accept rent but we do chores, cook meals, clean, do laundry, buy groceries etc. Mar 12, 2021 · But let’s say your spouse is truly lazy. Jan 10, 2024 · Finally, you will feel less urge to be intimate with him and your compassion decreases rapidly. Full disclosure: My husband is a neat freak, and I am, let's just say, not. Since I am not only paying her way but for everything she needs during school. If your roommate's got a sloppy desk but no one Apr 21, 2020 · Whether you are getting fed up with your spouse leaving their dirty clothes all over the place or you are sick of your children refusing to put toys away, we understand if you are nearing your wit’s end. Your adult child "borrows" money from you because she or he I have dealt with this issue in various ways in the past without much improvements. Retired Husband Syndrome (RHS) is a psychosomatic stress-related illness often seen in women whose husbands have just retired. I hate it. g. Image: Gifsoup. Loveless Marriage with an ADHD Spouse: Regaining Attention Jul 11, 2024 · The Blame Game: Why Your Bipolar Husband Blames You for Everything. My story is similar, my man is a slob. My husband and I are in our first year of marriage, and have been living together for about 1. Can things be worse? Sure. While women are generally neater than men, it sounds like your husband is excessively dirty and messy. My friend with a really big house gives her husband the entire basement as his mess-tacular man-cave. Learning how to deal with a lazy husband and why he behaves this way can help shift the dynamic and bring balance back to your partnership. I have to constantly mother him to put away his clothes, shoes, Etc. But you can make positive alterations in your living situation and your marital relationship if you’re willing to approach the problem with patience, understanding and lots of love. We are grateful they are letting us live with them, we treat their home with respect, we treat them with respect. Have you been battling about who is right? Mar 29, 2024 · We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Recent developments really impacted my mental health and I am progressively becoming repulsed by my husband. He lives at home and for his 24th birthday my husband and I made him sign a living agreement. Even at work, I am messy as I go about my business but I clean everything up at the end of the day. We have reached a settlement on one issue—if I leave dishes in the kitchen sink, I have to clean the bathroom. I hope you are in a better space than me. First, is your husband usually caring and respectful of your feelings and needs? Second, is there a reason why he’s not helping you around the house? See full list on simplelivingmommy. 5 years. He doesn't have piles of dry cleaning spilling out of his closet or 16 Aug 15, 2023 · When you’re with a self-centered partner, they feel entitled to your time and attention. You like things just so. 07/18/2020 11:01. The first step in creating solutions that will work for both of you and save your sanity is understanding each of your perspectives and preferences, starting with your own. My husband thinks he is much tidier, but in truth, hes not as good at cleaning as he thinks e. The constant criticism and control can really wear you down. my husband accepted my kids as his own, as I did his son-who is a year older than my oldest son. Motivating a lazy husband might very well be one sure way to make him conquer his laziness. Mar 26, 2017 · You and your spouse or other family members feel strain created by the excessive neediness from this overly dependent adult child. The agreement includes chores, rent and More house rules. So, my desk at home has a pegboard above it, while his has more drawers and filing. Story Highlights; Broom battles when one spouse is neat, other is messy "I feel like the living room is a mess if there are cups on the coffee table," he says. This has helped me and my husband navigate decluttering. My new husband is always complaining. She will criticize you, your friends, and your family. We are very much on the same page with how we like to live and keep house. She thinks is a happy marriage living in this fifth . Mar 9, 2012 · How To Survive Life With A Slob. Grab your husband and work together. You are trying to talk and he or she is tuned out, staring at the TV, computer or phone. My wife has gotten worse over the years. Mar 29, 2025 · I am a 26-year-old woman who lives with her 30-year-old boyfriend. My two sons became heroin addicts and are living with my husband and I. "And What OP described sounds like a mega slob. Jul 23, 2024 · Hey, living with a narcissistic husband can be tough on you. I have been with the slob for 10 years. Try to see things from your partner’s point of view. Jan 29, 2022 · Living with a slob is not easy especially when you are a clean person or a person who likes to exist in a clean environment. For example, if a desk has been established as a messy zone, and your husband continuously leaves receipts and papers all over the kitchen table, instead of going through them and sorting them, simply put them on his desk for him to deal with at his convenience. When I was living at home I used to fight so hard with my dad because my room was always a disaster and many times it trailed out with me. have it, but many don’t know, especially if they weren Jun 4, 2004 · cry ok, so maybe that's emotional blackmail. May 31, 2018 · Many of my friends said they gave their husband a designated mess zone that’s totally his. Both my husband and step son are in the same line of work and when its muddy and wet outside they come home filthy. I feel for you. Dec 11, 2018 · Plus, Dr. Dear Annie: My husband and I are in an incredibly loving marriage. Any suggestions for finding peace with a pack-rat? There’s half empty soda cans and cups all over the living room the kitchen tables had three days of DoorDash sitting there. One of the most distressing aspects of living with a bipolar partner can be the tendency for blame-shifting. Here's how to breathe new life into a loveless marriage, and help both partners feel loved and supported. Having a maid would allow him to continue being a "lazy slob" while also enabling this behavior. The key lies in embracing the journey with compassion, empathy, and a commitment to growth. Show your spouse how things could be. How she likes living like this is beyond me. ; you should feel relaxed, free, and able to share everything with the spouse. Sep 16, 2015 · In my case, I have been reduced to basically living in one room as my husband’s “collections” have taken over most of the house, more than 3/4 of the basement (washer & dryer is “mine”), the two-car garage in which he has built a make-shift 2nd floor to hold more of his stuff, and he has also added 5 sheds on our property which he Clutterbug has a quiz for which type of clutterbug you are. Your partner, not so much. He left his shit stains splattered all over the bottom of the seat. But, you can enjoy its pros and manage the cons if you try. Make sure your spouse is properly diagnosed Oct 4, 2023 · Living a Fulfilling Life with a Bipolar Spouse. You want to know your spouse cares. , not to mention basic household cleaning. Jul 29, 2021 · How to motivate a lazy husband – 3 ways to motivate a lazy husband. Jun 2, 2020 · Image Source: Depositphotos 47709921 From Disorganized To Win-Win Compromise. I am the 'slob' in my relationship. Living with a narcissist is damaging to one’s mental health. If your husband constantly exhibits sexual aspirations towards others and lacks respect for boundaries, it can be incredibly challenging to maintain a healthy Mar 4, 2025 · Dear James, I’m 32 years old, my husband and I have been together for eight years, we married two years ago, and we have a 3-year-old daughter. The slob may be used to living in their own filth, but the clutter problem affects others in two harmful ways. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Dedicating specific parts of your home to be either clean or messy areas will help both of you reach an So, I’m the messy one, and you are right, I genuinely don’t notice the mess and I absolutely loathe cleaning. We've been together almost three years and have lived together for one. Me (28F) and my husband (29M) have been living together for 10 years now after moving out of our parents house. Unlike a neat freak, a slob is dirty, disorganized, and maybe rude to people. The number one biggest issue we have is that he is a slob. 9. Jan 2, 2021 · My husband has never been the neatest, but he was never a slob either, so it worked. But sometimes, we have so many people staying with us, 2 rugrats of our own, both boys, and my husband who insists on throwing his cig butts in the sink - yuck - that I cant help but get totally upset when I get home from work and the place is a wreck. 3. Someone who needs me but does not respect me. Because most of the time this happens unconsciously, it is easy for people to Spouse is a slob. If you are set on living in the same space with a slob, you are going to have to make a lot of adjustments and compromises in your life. We have to dole out her medicine because she abuses it and she is not sanitary about her body care. A person who does not listen and does not feel what others feel, or understand how others are affected by his behaviors. For instance, my breakfast nook has notoriously been a catch all for clutter that my husband often contributes to. You want more for your marriage. They might even get jealous or upset when you choose to spend time with friends or family, and it could even make you feel guilty. Not Showing interest. Do not be judgemental Jul 18, 2021 · When you have a family and children who still live with you (no matter their age), clutter and mess is basically an inescapable fact of life. Maybe your husband takes your neatness for granted since he knows you will clean up after him. As the spouse of a narcissist, I have someone who talks at me, not with me. Aug 18, 2016 · RELATED: 5 relationship warning signs couples should never ignore. And you’re over it. While the one person is accustomed to a clean ambiance, the slob may have adapted to their mess; it might even seem organized to them, which can cause conflict. Marriage is Aug 3, 2012 · Davis, who didn't live with her husband before they married, says they've managed to work out equitable compromises so far. You cannot please her. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind as you attempt to deal with the issue of your husband’s "messiness": Nov 22, 2023 · My now-husband is nothing like the men I grew up living with. Now we’ve had a baby during the pandemic … and he has turned into the biggest slob I have ever seen. I say all of that to say to you: I think your husband should see a psychologist, or at the very least a therapist. You need a proper sit down adult discussion with your son, don’t be a doormat it doesn’t show him anything valuable for future relationships. Unless you have a ton of money and help, your living situation is never going to resemble the pages of Better Homes And Gardens. I was surprised to find out how much of a slob he actually was since he served a decade in the military as a single man- he was expected to keep his room clean at all times. Another aspect of dealing with a disgusting slob of a husband is addressing his inappropriate behavior and lack of character. Chore charts can be downloaded online if you want to get really organised! Like, her husband is okay living in filth (is he really, though, or does he just think someone else should do the cleaning) If he is a slob all the time, maybe Oct 6, 2021 · An unhealthy “overfunctioning-underfunctioning" pairing happens when a relationship becomes increasingly lopsided. A lot. A healthy marriage is supposed to be peaceful i. Make a big deal of the small things he does and lavish him with praises for them. My husband is a great guy but pretty hands off about things. Well his son became the model adult, for which I am proud. Dec 27, 2017 · 2. Even though the couple live in a decent-sized house in the country, the woman said her husband’s masses of “stuff” made her feel desperately overwhelmed in her own home. The simplest request to do something can require multiple reminders. It’s so easy to get wrapped up into how a messy spouse affects your day-to-day life without stopping to think about the potential reasons why he or she may not be living up to your Mar 8, 2012 · The shared, public rooms, like the kitchen, living room, and bathrooms should have priority over the bedrooms when it comes to cleaning schedules. There is no arguing over beard shavings, toilet seats We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Mar 17, 2024 · 6 Tips to support your ADHD spouse . he leaves crumbs and mess on kitchen worktop, which I do notice and hate. I’m at my wits end. Living with a difficult wife is taxing on the spirit. He was He does not clean his room because he is a freakin slob. While living with a bipolar spouse can be challenging, many couples find ways to build a fulfilling, loving relationship. Whether you’re already feeling ADHD spouse burnout or just want to prevent it from happening in the future, here are six things you and your partner can do to make your relationship work better for both of you. Learn what ADHD is (and isn’t) ADHD is a lot more common in adults than previously thought. Once my husband and I were married, I would pick up after both of us. Grow up and take some responsibility for once. Beginning to live with him was an adventure in many different ways, but probably the biggest one was how differently we tackle housework and how 6 days ago · If you are a woman who is living with a hoarding husband, your kindness can go a long way to even convict your husband to seek the necessary help he may need to get. Apr 9, 2023 · My Husband Is Just A Sexual Aspirant And Characterless. Realize your charming quirks get less so over time. 2. OP stated that her boyfriend is "lazy slob" and was at one time enabled in his messiness by his mother. Mar 9, 2021 · For example, let him keep the storage room or garage however he wants. You have to hold your husband accountable and go through that conflict (communicating exactly what you expect and holding him accountable) and going through that extinction period to get to the other side. A child who demands attention and has tantrums if he does not get it. It's crucial to prioritize your well-being and seek support when needed. I am fastidious (at least about my house)and my husband is a very happy slob. post reply Forum Any suggestions? I know I sound high maintenance but this is really like living with pigpen. You never know what she is going to do next. But before we get into what you might do, I want you to ask yourself two crucial questions. Many spouses find themselves on the receiving end of constant criticism and accusations, often for things beyond their control. In Helen Ellis’s marriage, she was the lovable slob, but after a while her husband just wanted to be able to glimpse the surface of the A 20-year-old living at home may go more smoothly for some families than others. Apr 19, 2013 · The first year of marriage is difficult because spouses are just getting to know each other as husband and wife. It is your day off from work and you planned to decompress. Feb 10, 2015 · Are you super organized, while your partner seems to enjoy clutter? Maybe you feel like Felix and Oscar – you’re the neat freak, while he (or she) embraces the ‘lived in’ look (perhaps you’d even call them a slob). Sep 15, 2024 · From cluttered desks to overflowing laundry baskets, the chaotic world of a slob may seem like a mystery to the neat and tidy, but the roots of this behavior run deeper than meets the eye. Feb 10, 2022 · Sick of Living With a Slob By Annie Lane. Living with a packrat can be downright frustrating for many simplifiers. I haven’t figured out a way to change a person who doesn’t want to change. My husband isn't a disgusting slob, but he is indeed one of those people who doesn't have a problem leaving food wrappers and napkins and soda cans in the car. Dec 11, 2023 · Over time, the non-ADHD spouse may feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and even resentful, leading to a phenomenon known as “ADHD spouse burnout. Compromise is your friend here but you (obviously) both have to meet the other half way. We’ve all encountered that one friend or family member whose living space resembles a tornado’s aftermath. “I can relate with the above stories and feel for you all. She is depleted and exhausted cleaning up after him and living in filth, and the most salient point js husband seems to not care to help alleviate it by doing his part. My husband will come in the basement to avoid getting mud on the floors that I would have to clean up. Apr 14, 2008 · When your spouse is a slob. She knows your pain and wants to make things better in your house. The only person you can change is yourself. He cheated on me a week before our wedding. An estimated 11 million adults in the U. Feb 15, 2022 · Pick the chores you get a little joy out of. It's like mess doesn't appear on my radar at all until a certain pointa point that is way past my boyfriend's point. Andrea helps a reader who isn't sure whether to believe a friend's workplace horror stories. Please find a way to fix it before you end up like me. Walking on eggshells. In particular, a marriage to one can cause the following: You end up severing ties to your friends and family. My wife is a slob. That helped me a lot. I'm not your mother, I shouldn't have to tell you to wash your hands or put your clothes in the hamper. Subject Stacy sometimes gets engrossed in brilliantly creative thoughts and ideas, but to everyone else in his or her life, she seems to be living in a fog, behind a thick mental wall. Aug 5, 2015 · Here’s a step-by-step guide to making life work as a neat freak if you find yourself living with a slob. He Apr 1, 2019 · Even that, though, is a stretch for me. He’s not on board with my lifelong minimalism and quest for a simple lifestyle. Oct 18, 2016 · If one partner is leaving items in the neat zone, then their partner can simply return it to their messy zone and not have to see it. Jun 15, 2016 · You may not like living with a slob, but nobody likes living with a cleaning nag either. To that point, perhaps moving his desk out of your bedroom should be the first thing you tackle. Offer to work with him. It will help you to be on the same page if your spouse sees your boundaries make sense and are equally applied to biological children and stepchildren. Slob is not my word… slob is the word that is often used to describe a spouse who doesn’t care about a messy house, who won’t help to clean it up, and who often Nov 22, 2023 · My adult daughter pays £300 per month and wouldn’t dream of giving me less - or of moving someone in - she’s messy but she definitely appreciates the advantages living with me still gives her. It was actually a huge Nov 12, 2015 · The nation’s obesity epidemic may have lessened the stigma, but challenging beliefs still persist. An uninterested spouse is worse than living alone. Here are 9 tips to As The Spouse of a Narcissist. Here are steps both partners can take to transcend many of the common challenges of living with ADHD. Apr 27, 2014 · You see your son's phone number (from the line you are paying for) come up on your Caller ID. . My husband takes a lot of pride in our timber floors, so cleaning them is on his to-do list while I'm happy to have him far from the cooking responsibilities. For his Customer: I have a 53 year old daughter living with my husband and I and she is a slob. 13. Recently, reader Jasi asked: I live in a big house with tons of things, mostly my husband’s. He would be perfect except for one thing: He is an absolute slob. She is on SS and is a liar. Damn shame I adore him so. He is also a slob which causes a lot of issues between my husband and I. Your wife is difficult. I am not at all to the level of ocd but I like to be organized and neat in appearance and how I keep my home. Jan 10, 2020 · To help you handle a messy husband or messy wife, we asked couple’s counselors for their best tips. My husband also helped by teaching me exactly what he liked and giving me ideas of how to get organized. We also agreed that the path to a harmonious relationship was to always have a housecleaner. That’s not a healthy yardstick. Feb 6, 2025 · When responsibilities start feeling one-sided, it is easy to feel frustrated and overwhelmed. Aug 10, 2020 · Many of the divorced people I work with have a similar refrain, “I just cannot wait until the divorce is final. You might feel like you're always walking on eggshells, trying to avoid conflict. It is also essential to get your spouse’s input and agreement. ” While this monumental moment signifies the end of a lot of hard work and Feb 23, 2014 · This helps you to take any personal bias out of your decision-making process and to make the agreement fair. When we became married, we agreed that my husband could always have one part of our home to call his own, and that I would never say anything about that area. I say all this as a 32 year old who lives with my inlaws (with my husband and daughter). Jan 24, 2013 · My husband is a slob. He can maintain that area however he wants as long as the door is closed and my neat friend doesn’t have to see it. com Feb 11, 2016 · You're a neat-freak, he's a slob? 6 tips for real-life 'Odd Couples' Most couples have different levels of tidiness, and that can be a real problem, experts say. In other words, set the example! Be a living witness in your own space – your personal closets, how you shop for things, and how you let things go when it’s time. Ready to learn how YOU can secure your family's future well-being and security? Claim your copy of my new book: Wise Women Protect their Assets: Essential Estate Planning Checklist for Smart Women by clicking on the offer link to the left of this post. I prefer to have things visible for easy use, while my husband prefers to have things hidden away in drawers or closets. " A just 20 year old daughter with my husband who I've been with/married to for 23 yrs. Selective listening. report. My husband's toothpaste tube is on the left, mine is on the right. Are you married to a slob? This post breaks down what may be going on and what to do if you're married to a slob and frustrated. But you’re tired. Jul 30, 2024 · 7. I cycle through the stages of grieving for my living conditions, the destruction of our home, and the high hopes I’d had when buying nice things. Stacy’s offbeat, creative nature used to be part of her quirky charm. 8. She does all the cooking, for instance, while he does all the dishes. I am a clean freak, and, before we moved Feb 2, 2025 · Living with a messy partner can be challenging, but it is essential to find the least organized person in your home and establish clear boundaries and guidelines for the living space. His Dad does not make him clean it either. They may enjoy having instant access to emotional support and advice from you. When he's used my car, I repeatedly asked him to stop leaving his bits of trash in my car, but he kept doing it. However, if a marriage reaches the point where you have to watch what you do or say constantly, it can be difficult for your emotions. e. The maid suggestion is getting downvoted because it doesn't address OP's problem. And you want to feel heard, seen, and appreciated. / Source : TODAY Jun 19, 2020 · If you don't know how to live with your messy spouse, here's how you can make sure you're getting to the root of the disorganized issues in your home and overcoming them together. To begin, identify what chores are important to each of you. We are in our late seventies what can we do with her?. Mostly, the spouse who lies, gets used to it and your husband may lie more often in your life. S. Jun 10, 2024 · Your relationship is not doomed to fail, however. I know a woman who told me she’d threatened to leave her husband because he had become obese "Husband, you are a disgusting slob and I need you to start pulling your weight around keeping the house and yourself clean or I will have to rethink where I stand in this relationship. I had to ask him to remove them because I wasn’t his maid. Am I wrong to wait? My son pays his own car insurance each month, but that is currently the only bill I enforce. This includes maintaining shared areas like the kitchen or living room and communicating your expectations. He is wonderful: funny, smart, sweet, kind, thoughtful, and supportive. 1. And while there are no guarantees, there may be some things you can do to get your lazy spouse off the couch and by your side. May 4, 2020 · When your spouse has ADHD, it's easy to interpret his inattention as a lack of interest. I love this man too the moon and that’s the only reason I am still with him. midy mgb gek ezvdkb awzu oltqe ybhzmx xdfvve wowf lpwcyufw hriuc wfgzg vctqv rnw cymhr